feelings and friends

Emotions.. they sometimes run the gamut for me. From crippling depression to high anxiety. I live within the environment and live off its energy. Right now I'm finding a plethora of mixed emotions, my present is pulling me one way, my past is intruding on the present, and in between are a mix of emotions based on the vibe I get from people I meet. I have found it fascinating some of the characters I have met as I move among those at the bottom of the social ladder. From musicians, ex-prostitutes, druggies, and social misfits, Yes, I've got to know a lot of people. Today I talked to another woman who I had met briefly. It seems that sometimes these people volunteer more info about themselves than they need to, but maybe they do it because I listen and don't judge. I've met the good, the bad and the ugly. I've met country singers on their way to self destruction, women trying to escape abuse, people who have compromised their values, just to survive. My life is an adventure, a series of short stories many without happy endings. The adventure continues.

the truth

There will be a time in the future when we look on the work of Julian Assange and Bradley Manning and see them as the founding fathers of the New Democracy. The rich and powerful have a lot to fear but mainly they fear the truth. If the people ever wake up and discover the truth of their plight there will be change and no wealth or power will provide a place for those guilty of such crimes a safe haven. They will be hunted down and feel the true wrath of the people. Now I know some people will say that what I just wrote is something a person should not say. People have to realize that the fear of their own government is what those who are plundering the economy and our freedoms count on. If you truly believe in freedom you have to speak up. Otherwise you have surrendered and you and your children are doomed to a life of slavery.

Mom

Sunday, a day of rest. A day to remember my Mom. I remember the good times, I remember the bad times. My life could have profoundly changed because of some decisions that could have been made. I have been blessed. Shortly after I was born I was nearly killed by an errant shot by a hunter as the bullet passed thorough a window at our home and grazed my forehead.  I have no memory of this but what I know is what was told to me by my mother.  For my early years I spent a lot of time without my father. He went to trade school under the G.I. Bill at Coyne Electrical School in Chicago. I, and my Mom lived with what little money he sent home and with family. We first live with my grandparents but when that became impossible we moved to an apartment. Later, life became more normal. I can thank my Mom for teaching me an appreciation of nature and the outdoors. It was her that taught me to fish, to love hiking, and to explore. She was what inspired the gypsy in me. That spirit lives today. She was always there for me, be it to scold or to provide that hug. She was at my side through all my battles, she was the one that told the doctors not to pull the plug after I was in a coma for a week and showing no brain activity. I'm here because of her belief in me. Sure, there were times when she was angry at me, probably because I disappointed her. She was probably right. I have made mistakes in life. I have survived. The last few months of her life roles were reversed. I was the one caring for a helpless soul, who knew that life was ending and was trying to figure out a way to end. I held her in her last moments, and was there when she passed on. Thank you Mom. You still mean the world to me. I wish there was a better way, but I did my best. Love you Mom.

the saga continues

More stuff gone.. that is good. The few things remaining will leave on Monday.

the saga part deux

Another day in paradise. One of the people who was taking furniture had a blow up at the place she was sharing so she has to move, but she's coming anyway to get the stuff she wanted. Maybe she will take a bunch more stuff as I want it gone.

Otherwise I fixed something on my car that needed fixing. One thing accomplished.

Tomorrow is another day, a Saturday. Hurray.

knee

Ah, Thursday. This is dump day, not hump day. I'm feeling a bit better as I see sun and blue skies. My knee is still giving me fits. I'll check out a doctor next week as this gets to be real annoying. If it fixable, I want it fixed.

Now back to work, and wondering when some people are going to come by and get some more furniture and appliances.

winter again?

Still kicking, still feeling like winter here. Got stuff to do today to make it easier for more furniture to leave tomorrow. Got to get life in gear. Work now, play later.

The world seems screwed up today, but that has become the new normal.  It is going to hell in a handbasket, but I just keep moving forward.

Motivation is what I'm lacking for the most part. I'll work on that.

swapmeet

It is too damned early. I'm going to sell some stuff at the swapmeet this morning and to get a shady spot I need to get there early. I am going to throw a few more items on the truck and sit back and see if people are really interested or just like jerking me around.

blog time

Thought I would play again with a sorta real blog. Posting on some platforms tends to be like pissing in the wind. You post, and it get blown back at you because some people think you need to be less angry. Hell, I have a reason for my anger, and sometimes I need to vent.  Anyway, this will be where I rant... and I do that a lot.